I would dearly like to go for a breast reduction and liposuction.
I wish I was anorexic
and I'm not just saying it.
I want so much to get off this island
because it is boring and
chivalry is dead here.

Please give me a gun
I would like to shoot
the guy who let me hold the door for him and his gf
and didn't even say thank you,
the fucking annoying lee hwa roadshow salespeople
and the people who keep touting donations along the corridors of forum.

I am starting to believe in the
"if you're pretty you're pretty" philosophy.
So I should stop buying clothes
as no matter how I dress up in pretty clothes
I'll always remain visually mortifying
and perpectually corpulent.